Are You Traumatized?

The different uses of the terms “trauma” and “traumatized” are confusing. Here’s how to think about them.

CATEGORY: POPULAR CULTURE

‘Apocalypse by latte’

Read time: 2.5 minutes
 
Patient A sat down and gave me the short version of her life story, which read like a highlight reel of terrifying experiences. An uncle attempted to rape her when she was 13. Two college professors propositioned her for sex in exchange for grades. She survived a serious car accident, lived through a hurricane, and suffered two miscarriages. A driver once pointed a gun at her in a road rage incident. A close friend was raped two blocks from her home. She watched her father die instantly from a stroke.
 
“I think I was traumatized by that,” she said more than once.
 
Then there was Patient B, a Black man who worked for a county road maintenance department. He noticed a rope hanging in the vehicle barn that, after thinking about it for a day, looked like a noose. He believed it was left there as a message because of tension with his white coworkers.
 
Both patients believed they’d been “traumatized.” Were they?
 
Three Definitions of Trauma
Let’s start with the strictest definition — the one used in psychiatry. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) defines trauma as an event that involves actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence — either directly or as a witness (learning that it happened to a close loved one was recently added but I believe that is wrong).
These events are sudden and terrifying — moments when you genuinely fear for your life. They’re the only kinds of experiences that can lead to posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
And they’re common. In the largest survey ever conducted on this topic — over 68,000 respondents across 24 countries — about 70% reported experiencing at least one life-threatening event [1].
 
The second definition broadens the field. It includes deeply stressful life events that don’t threaten your life — things like true discrimination, emotional abuse, neglect, divorce, bullying, or watching terrorist attacks on TV. These experiences can absolutely cause emotional pain and even long-term distress, but they rarely — if ever — lead to PTSD.
 
Then there’s the everything-is-trauma definition — the modern cultural one. By this version, just about anything can count: perceived discrimination from a barista, a tough exam, a traffic jam, a breakup, or a bad performance review. We casually toss around the word all the time: “I was stuck in traffic for an hour — it was traumatic!”
 
Why the Definition Matters
Words matter. If we can’t agree on what “trauma” means, we can’t communicate clearly. Science depends on precise definitions. If two researchers can’t measure the same thing with reliability, you can’t compare results or draw conclusions.
So, when it comes to PTSD, only the narrowest definition — the life-threatening one — is correct.
 
Being Traumatized vs. Having Experienced Trauma
There’s another layer of confusion here: experiencing trauma is not the same as being traumatized.
Many people live through horrific events and never develop symptoms of PTSD. Being traumatized means you were affected — that you have ongoing symptoms and some impairment in your ability to function. To be “traumatized” means the event left a psychological wound.
The psychiatric community — through the DSM — gets to define this, and for good reason. The DSM’s definition is based on data, not vibes.

In a landmark 2009 study, Kilpatrick, Resnick, and Acierno found that 96% of people with PTSD had experienced true life-threatening events [2]. The 4% with non-life-threatening stressors were probably errors.

The Resilient Patient
So what about Patient A?
Despite her long list of horrific experiences, she had no actual PTSD symptoms. She functioned well and maintained close relationships. By the psychiatric definition, she was not traumatized — she was resilient.

​That conclusion didn’t sit well with her. Some people feel dismissed when they’re told they’re not “traumatized.”

But in truth, she did feel supported; spending the time to review every painful event and assess its impact was deeply validating. It’s the opposite of brushing someone off — it’s listening carefully and diagnosing correctly. Because understanding what “trauma” really means isn’t just semantics. It’s how we ensure people get the right diagnosis — and the right kind of help.
 
Bottom line:
You can experience trauma without being traumatized.
And sometimes, recognizing that difference is the most healing truth of all.
 
 
References
[1] Benjet C and 34 additional authors, The epidemiology of traumatic event exposure worldwide: results from the World Mental Health Survey Consortium, Psychological Medicine 46 (2016):327-343
[2] Kilpatrick DG.  Resnick HS.  Acierno R.  Should PTSD Criterion A be retained? Journal of Traumatic Stress.  22(5):374-83, 2009 Oct.